Christian dating is…interesting. And awkward. Very awkward. There’s a lot of advice out there – some that we follow and some not so much. In every couple’s attempt to figure out what dating in a Christian relationship looks like, uncomfortable conversations are inevitable. We’ve decided to highlight a few of our favorite cringe-worthy moments:
1. WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO FEEL OUT JUST HOW ‘CHRISTIAN’ THEY ARE
So you’ve established you’re both Christian, but like how Christian are we talking…they say they go to church, but do they raise their hands in worship or are they more of a “I sit in the back every Sunday” kind of person. If you really want to go there quickly just bring up the Holy Spirit and see if they freak out. For extra measure you can have Bethel’s spontaneous worship playing in your car and observe their reaction. If you never want to see them again, just start speaking in tongues, that’ll prob do it.
2. THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU’RE DISCUSSING YOUR NOT SO PROUD B.C. MOMENTS – “HOW YOKED ARE YOU?”
So let’s be real. How much are you supposed to reveal while you’re trying to figure out just how far the other person has gone? You don’t want to be the one who’s done more but you also don’t want to be the one who’s done less. You want to play it cool. Okay but like how cool? The struggle is just so real. Don’t worry, it’ll come out soon enough…
3. WHEN YOU FIND OUT SHES ON ‘THE VOW’
Rejection knows no bounds in Christian dating. You can literally be rejected for reasons you didn’t know existed – one of our favorites is that awkward moment when you ask a girl out and her response is, “I’m actually dating Jesus until September”. She’ll say words like ‘consecration’ or ‘Jesus is my boyfriend right now’. If she references “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” you’re in for some fun…and by fun we mean engagement photos by date two.
2. WHEN HER DAD PRESENTS A ‘PURITY’ BOOK
So you start dating a girl and her dad is super Christian. You’ve met him maybe twice and he pulls out the book “Every Young Man’s Battle” and asks when you’d like to discuss the art of bouncing your eyes….um….hard pass.
5. WHEN YOU HAVE TO DISCUSS BOUNDARIES aka WHERE IS THE LINE?
Soooo, you know that Boundaries book? At some point the girl will decide it’s time to have ‘the talk’. We know there’s no sex before marriage…but when you’re trying to be pure, there are 50 shades of gray in between. So uh where do we draw the line? Don’t even try to discuss this with your non-christian friends because they’ll think you’re crazy. When the convo comes up let’s just say, you hope you’re on the same page. Good luck.
6. WHEN PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING MAKES YOU SIGN A CONTRACT
When you’re trying to be a good Christian couple, you schedule a pre-marital class together but within the first 5 minutes you’re invited to go through a 10 page contract asking questions that require honesty on another level. You find out the contract needs to be signed in order to proceed. “Have you ever taken drugs or alcohol? Are you co-habitating? Are you sexually involved?” Say yes and you won’t be allowed in. #nervous
This is a real image from one church’s version of a premarital contract. I mean, have we been baptized in water – how about a margarita?
7. WHEN YOU’RE GOING ON A FAMILY VACATION AND WONDERING IF IT’S APPROPRIATE TO BOOK TWO ROOMS OR ONE
You’ve been dating over a year and his Christian family invites you on a Hawaiian vacation. You don’t know how to navigate the conversation, “So do we book two rooms or can we save some money and book one?” Instead of openly discussing, you either A. book two rooms to avoid a potentially awkward convo or B. pretend you are in two rooms but secretly stay in one. S-C-A-N-D-A-L-O-U-S.
8. WHEN SOMEONE BRINGS UP ENGAGEMENT AFTER A MONTH
So you’ve been on three dates and somehow the topic of engagement comes up. She’s been waiting for her Boaz and you showed up so…congrats to the happy couple! But wait, this isn’t just girls. Men are guilty of jumping the gun too. If a guy comes up to you declaring God told him you’re his future wife, it’s probably best to say thank you and call an uber. And never respond. Bye Felicia.
What do you think, did we miss any?